It's Not Pain

Subject: It's Not Pain Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:25 pm

It hurts. I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out and torn to shreds. I know how it is to have someone tell you they love you, then say they don’t. I know it feels when you give someone your heart and they smash it. People say it hurts, but it doesn’t really. Hurt is the wrong word for it. It kills you. It’s a slow and painful way of dying – and it takes a lifetime.
Most people look it over when you say it hurts. They just say, “I know it does” or “It will get better”. Yet they don’t really understand, do they? They just automatically assume you’re overreacting. But you’re not. It really does hurt. To the extent where you double over in pain, curled up in you bed, covered up yet shivering, crying your eyes out at the mere thought of their name.
When I curled up in my bed that night, tears running down my cheeks, my hair sticking to my face, wet from the tears, I knew it would never stop hurting. I realised then that this was forever; that it wasn’t going to go away. I know now, just how it feels to lose everything you hold dear. And I see why people don’t eat, or sleep, or talk. They just withdraw within themselves, surrounding themselves in thoughts and tears. It’s the only true way you feel any closer to living through the excruciating pain.
I’ve locked my door and shut myself away for days now. People have come to the door, wanting to be let in to ‘talk’ and such like. It’s all bullshit, of course. They want to know the gossip – they don’t really care. I don’t really care if I’m honest, but I’ve lost everything – I would like to keep what dignity I have left. Even if it is an incomprehensible amount.
I haven’t fed for three days now. My skin’s paler than ever and my head is pumping more and more every day. I know I should hunt, but I don’t want to leave my room. It’s safe here – nobody can hurt me, and I’m at peace for once in my Goddess-forsaken life.
I know I’m probably asking too much, for the pain to stop, yet I can’t help but hope that one day I’ll learn to smile again. Perhaps I’ll even learn to love properly.
This feeling is going to last forever…

Chaos sobbed suddenly, her thoughts not for the first nor last time, dissipating into nothing as the pain took hold once more. Her inability to think matched her inability to feel the pain as she dug her elegant nails into her wrist, watching as the blood pooled to the surface of her skin.
Her eyes were unseeing, not registering what she was doing to herself. She was in a bad place, the Queen of Obsidian. And somehow she knew that nobody was going to save her this time.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:47 pm

Primora was walking down the hallway when she heard a loud sob come from her sister's bedroom. She peeked her head in the door and saw what she was doing. "Chaos... What are you doing?!"
Pri rushed over to her sister and looked into her eyes. They were different from she had seen her last. Chaos was in a bad place and Primora knew that. What was causing this great pain was unknown to Pri, but she was going to find out. She was going to do whatever she could to help her sister.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:33 am

Chaos shut the bedroom door and locked it with her mind, ignoring her sister's prying questions. She didn't want to talk - so she wasn't going to.

I'm never leaving this room. I'm never coming out. I hate them. I hate them all. I wish my father had never even saved them. I wish they'd all go back where they belong and die. They killed my daddy. I despise them.
I hate the Goddess more, though. She took away my daddy and my mum. And now even Alenos is serving her. One day I swear to God I will make her pay for what she's done to me - for how she's ruined my life.
I hate Alenos. He lves making me suffer. He loves watching my pain every time he insults me with low and snide comments. He deserves to hurt like I am. And he's working for that bitch. Sod him.
I hate Pri. She left me for years and didn't even recognise me when she saw me. I recognised her. I knew her as soon as I met her - but she didn't know who I was.
I hate everyone. Do you hear me, Obsidian?
I HATE EVERYONE!!!

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:47 am

Primora stood there stunned for a moment before sliding to the floor. She cried quietly to herself. She knew it was a mistake coming here; she knew that she wouldn't be accepted. Pri wiped her eyes and put on a brave face as she walked away from Chaos's bedroom. She was walking away from her sister, and she wasn't walking back. She would gather what little things she had brought, and she would leave Obsidian. She was walking out on all she had left.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:55 am

Chaos instantly felt awful. She cried out, ripping her necklace off and throwing it at the wall, watching as it acted like a bullet, flying straight through the stone without hesitation.
She screamed out, tears running down her cheeks as she sobbed loudly, her love for Pri radiating to her sister the only way Chaos could get it across. She didn't trust herself to speak, so she pushed all her feelings onto Pri - showing her the love she held for her little sister.
Shaking, and still crying, Chaos rose from her bed and walked out of the door, staring at Pri, a pleading lok in her eyes.
"Don't go."

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:11 am

Primora turned around and wiped away her fresh tears. She felt all the love hit her at once and it almost knocked her over. She ran back to Chaos and threw her arms around her sister. She hugged her tightly. "What's going on Chaos... what has you so upset?" Pri looked at her with sorrow in her own eyes. Sorrow and worry for her older sister.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:24 am

Chaos sniffed and wiped her face.
"I can't tell you. I'm not putting you in that danger. Come. Follow me. We must find Alenos - we have to secure your safety immdeiately."
The determined looked in Chaos' eyes warned Pri not to argue, as she swept down the corridor, her nightdress billowing out majestically behind her. Chaos' hair was loose, falling down her back in wavy and romantic tresses, the dark black contrasting beautifully with her perfectly porcelain skin. Her eyes were sunked in, the traditional black lining and shadowing of Obsidian missing from the nights locked away and brooding.
She had lost weight, too. Her nightdress that once fitted her figure perfectly now hung from her shoulders, baggy yet still hauntingly gorgeous. Rather than the stunning beauty Chaos had once had - she was now more of a haunting spirit, rather than a striking vampire.
The life however, was renewed in her eyes, as she half walked half ran down the corridor towards where Alenos sat. She had one thing to do, that could help. She would save her little sister's life.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:16 pm

Primora followed after her sister confused. "Chaos, I don't understand. Why do I need Alenos to protect me?" Pri looked at Chaos and noticed the weight loss. What had she been doing to herself? Why was she so thin. Pri's head felt like it was spinning. She didn't understand any of this or why it was happening.

Admin Posts : 178 Join date : 2009-11-22

Alenos looked up at Chaos and opened his palm's showing her something she would not have seen for a decade or more, hanging from her mother's neck and nestled between her breast's. "I already know Chaos..I summoned Draethan two night's ago..He will be with us soon..It..will be protected.." Alenos looked at her and slowly let his eye's drift over her withered form, seeing the weight he had lost and inwardly making sure to remeber to force her to feed more.

Alenos let the amulet in his palm's drop from his palm to hand from it's firm golden chain, it's amethyst stone shining as it dangles and spin's in the light thrown from the candle next to Alenos.

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:54 pm

Chaos looked from Alenos to the amulet and swallowed. It looked familiar, yet she could not quite place it.... She bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes and an image of her beautiful mother appeared before her, the amulet hanging from her elegant neck. She looked away quickly, hiding the tears in a flash and staring at the ground.
"What are you talking about Alenos? I need my sister protected. That's why I came."
Her voice was blunt and dripping in mourning for her Mother. Her parents had been so good to her - why had they had to be taken by the Goddess?
Chaos scowled up at the sky, suddenly hating everything about the stupid city of Obsidian. It had taken her parents. She hated it and suddenly needed to get out..

Admin Posts : 178 Join date : 2009-11-22

I already Known of the need to protect your Sister..Which is why..among other thing's, I have summoned Draethan from his studies, he will be here upon the morrow..and Goddess Help anyone who stand's in his way..

His sword song has changed..Draethan..is not the same man he used to be..he is not the same brother i let go all those decades ago..

Subject: Re: It's Not Pain Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:16 am

Chaos stiffened and glanced back at the mention of Alenos' brother. She looked at her sister and nodded to the guard, who beckoned Pri in and shut the door firmly.
No one else was to hear this.
"And what happened, My Lord?"
Despite the events of a few nights ago, since then Chaos had remained a Queen. She had treated Alenos as nothing but a Lord and he had treated her as nothing but a Queen. It was as if last night never happened, although it was clear whenever they made eye contact (which was very rare due to embarassment and emotion) that the memories were still all too clear in the mind.